You Will Finally Know.

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To My Older Sibling:

When I think about our history together, of our many conversations over the years…When I look at all of the times we shared, all those ‘moments’ in life (the good and the bad)…When I think about our relationship as a whole…I realized that there is one thing I never really did tell you.  And while we have shared so much over the years (so so much), it honestly surprises me that you still probably don’t know this.  I never really did ever share it with you.  Well that is…until today.

Because after today, you will finally know.  

In order for me to tell you this though, I really must start from the beginning….so here we go…

When I was a young child, I remember you always being there to watch over me and protect me from harm. You probably got sick of constantly having that responsibility as young child yourself.  And it most certainly was ‘annoying’ sometimes to have me depending on you for so much.  Relaying on you to be the ‘older sibling’ that I needed.  But here is the thing:   I really did need you because you were one of my comforts in life.  You were always my safe place in this big, scary world.  You really were always that for me, and you should finally know that.

Then as you started to mature and wanted to do your ‘older child’ things, I always cried and threw a fit if you weren’t playing with me.  It wasn’t because I wanted to get my way and to be selfish in doing what I wanted to do.  It was simply because I really did enjoy those moments together with you.   You were the best playmate a girl could ask for, and I never wanted to lose that…to lose you.  So now you finally understand, it’s really because you were my very best friend.  And I wanted to be with you more than anyone else.

And then as I grew older too, relationship and school drama started becoming a part of my life.  I remember many times when I would keep you up all night agonizing over and stressing about the possible outcomes.  Always wondering what I should do.  I didn’t do that because I wanted to keep you from sleep and make you exhausted the next day.  It wasn’t because I wanted to bore you with my silly problems.  I did it because you truly were my secret keeper and the one who knew me best.  So literally, in those moments, I needed you more than anyone else in my life.  So now you know, it’s because you were ‘my person.’  And I respected you and your opinion…so much so that I couldn’t move forward without it. 

And as you grew up and moved out of the house, I saw your hard work, drive and determination turn into a successful and fulfilling life.  So when I worked hard in school and in life in general, it wasn’t because I was in competition with you, or I was trying to show you up.  It was simply because I had such a big shadow to live up to and honestly, I wanted to make you proud!  I wanted to be just like you.   So now you understand, I simply did it because through it all, you were my idol, and I wanted to live my life just like you were.

So maybe you knew all of this back then or maybe you didn’t…I am not sure.

But this next part, you really couldn’t have realized because I never took the time to share it with you…until now.  And while we have grown into our own lives, and the time we spend together is sparse, it’s still time that you finally know this…

Today, as a grown woman with a family of my own, it’s funny how when I need protecting or a little extra love in my life, I still turn to you.  You are still my safe place, my comfort.  And it doesn’t matter how old I am, you will always be that for me.  You will always be that responsible older sibling that feels just like home to me.

Also, to this day, you are that one person I always enjoy spending time with. Months can pass, and when we get together, it’s like we never lost any time.  Everything just seems to fall right into place.  And I know why…this one is not hard to figure out.  It’s because you are still my best friend through everything…and I know you always will be.

And when life throws me a curveball, and I am not sure what to do, the first person I think to call is you.  You are still my secret keeper, my confidante.  And to this day, I still value and respect your opinion.  So when life gets difficult, I still need you because you will always be ‘my person’…forever and until the end of time.

Lastly, as I live out each day of my life, working hard and trying to be the best person I can be, it’s because I still want to make you proud.  I want to do right by you…always.  And I want to be successful just like you because after all this time and after all these years, you really are my idol, my hero in life.

It’s crazy to me that after all we have shared over the years, you still didn’t know any of this. It’s something I never shared…well that is…until today.  So remember that no matter where life chooses to take us, I want you to tuck these next words close to your heart…always:  You have been, and you always will be one of the best things to ever happen in my life.  

And now…you finally know.

Sincerely,

Your Little Sibling

Xoxo

Marsha 

*For those of you struggling with something in life or have a topic of interest that you want me to talk about in this blog, email me at BeYourBestSelfBlog@gmail.com.  Let’s work together to Be Our Best Selves!