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WARNING: Unpredictable conditions ahead. Proceed with caution!
Arguments. Conflicts. Fights. Screaming matches. The silent treatment. These are all words we could probably spend the rest of our lives living without. Being a natural peace maker in life, there is nothing that causes me more anxiety, stress, and heart palpitations. So in a perfect world, I would love to see only peace and harmony. Again, in a perfect world…
But we all know that no such world exists. In fact, every day when I read the newspaper, I see nothing but conflicts, arguments, and fights in this world. And some of the things we see are so horrifying that it’s hard to even read. Now I would love to give you the solution to our world’s problems, but we all know that is never going to happen.
However, what if I had a secret that could show you exactly how we can all work together to help change this world…a little bit at a time? Would you like to hear it? Because this secret, this solution, will require us to recognize that there will be unpredictable times ahead. And we will definitely need to proceed with caution and be more careful when these situations pop up in our life. But nonetheless, I feel it will be worth it in the end to keep pushing through.
And I hope you agree because this answer, well, I believe it all begins with you…
It’s all going to start by you simply committing to changing your small world that exists all around you. It will begin by figuring out how to resolve conflicts with those we interact with day in and day out. But before I get to the answer, let’s first talk about what happens regularly in our less than perfect lives…
How often do you find you and your spouse arguing? Did you have a fall out with a friend? How often do you catch yourself yelling at your children? Do you struggle with your coworkers, direct reports, or even your boss?
I have no doubt that you can admit to at least one of these problems. In fact, I bet many of us can relate to most of them. Life is not easy and the more stress that comes upon us, the easier it is to get angry, to lash out, and have these disagreements with those important people in our life.
So what is the solution to eliminating these arguments? How do we overcome conflict and let go of that resentment we carry inside? When you head down a path that you know is slowly leading to anger. When you can feel inside that these unpredictable conditions are about to emerge. I would ask you to proceed with caution before getting angry and lashing out. Proceed carefully down this path by asking yourself one very simple, yet very powerful question… “Why are you really mad?”
Because I believe, almost every time, the answer is going to be this — You expected something from this person, and they did not live up to these expectations. And because of that, it is easy for us to get angry…Every.Single.Time! But there is something else I have learned over the years. Almost every single time, I wasn’t communicating what I truly expected of them to begin with…especially when it came to my family and friends. So how can we get angry and lash out at someone for not living up to our expectations when we never really laid out what we expected from them in the first place?
Do you catch yourself doing this too? I know I do it way more in life than I should. Think about the last argument you had. Maybe you thought you were clear when you told them what you expected of them, but take a step back and really reflect on that. Did you truly communicate it in a clear and concise manner? Could they repeat back to you exactly what was expected from your viewpoint? Because if not, then you are just as guilty as the person who didn’t live up to your standards.
And I know I have been guilty of this plenty of times in my life.
Life is full of arguments, conflicts, fights, screaming matches, and the well-known silent treatment. And while none of us can change the whole entire world, it can all begin to change by starting with you. And by changing the way we interact with those important people in our life.
So when your next fight comes up, I hope you will remember this blog and the secret I shared today. And in that moment, when your head is screaming the following words…” Warning: unpredictable conditions ahead,” remember to pause and ask yourself the following question…Did you clearly communicate your expectations? Because if you didn’t, then I hope you will choose to proceed with caution when you decide exactly what you should do next. And if you choose to do this, I firmly believe that you can change this world…a little bit at a time.
Xoxo
Marsha
*For those of you struggling with something in life or have a topic of interest that you want me to talk about in this blog, email me at BeYourBestSelfBlog@gmail.com. Let’s work together to Be Our Best Selves!
Photo Credit Photo by Ash @ModernAfflatus: https://www.pexels.com/photo/yellow-and-black-striped-3662579/