Our Real Test

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Have you ever seen Disney’s “Maleficent” movie starring Angelina Jolie?  This villain movie is one of my favorites.  In fact, the other day, my youngest daughter and I sat down to watch it yet again.  And I have to say, each time I see this movie, I love it even more!  Each time I snuggle up on the couch next to my daughter, and we click that remote to stream this movie, I always seem to pick up on something new.  And this last time was no exception.  

As we came to the part of the movie where Maleficent was deceived by the man she loved, I became suddenly intrigued with how she handled it.  After she found out why he deceived her, she was undoubtedly enraged.  She was so enraged that her powerful “Green Fairy Energy” surrounded all of her and then shot straight up into the sky like a lightning bolt.  It could even be seen from miles and miles away…now that is pure anger. 

And in that moment, filled with rage, Maleficent had a choice.  She had a choice on what she wanted to do with all of that anger inside of her.  And here is what she chose to do:  She marched right over to the castle, used that “Green Fairy Energy” and with all of her might, cast a spell on the one thing that was most important to him…his daughter.  She chose to hold onto that rage and seek the one thing that feels so dang good in that moment…Maleficent sought revenge.  

And in that instant she felt amazing!  She felt so powerful!  From the smile on her face, you could tell that she felt satisfied and thrilled to have hurt him…just as much as he had hurt her.  She sought an eye for an eye, and dang, it felt good.

How many times in your life have you been so angry with someone that you just wanted to get even?  How many times has someone in your life hurt you so badly that you wanted nothing more than to see them punished?  Or maybe it was more of a subtle feeling where you found delight in someone else’s misfortunate? 

I think it is normal to have these feelings when we are hurt so badly.  It’s a natural knee jerk reaction to want revenge after having someone cause pain in our life.  And I also believe it is ok to forgive ourselves for having this first instinct.  We are all human after all.  But it’s the steps we take next that matter the most.

Because in those initial moments of rage…that is when we get our real test…the real test of what exactly are we going to do with those feelings?  How are we going to choose to channel our energy?

Maleficent also had a choice that day.  When she became enraged with the man that deceived her, she could have taken that anger, that pain, and channeled it into something good.  She could have, instead, used this energy into making her kingdom an even more magnificent place.  But Maleficent didn’t choose that.  She let that natural reaction consume her, and instead, she chose to act on those feels.  Instead, she chose to get revenge. 

And in that moment, Maleficent didn’t pass the real test.  In my opinion, she chose the easy way out.  It is so much easier to act on those feelings and inflict pain on those that hurt us.   That is the easy path to take in life. 

Have there been times in your life that you have been hurt?  Maybe you or someone in your family was cheated on by their significant other?  Have you or anyone in your life ever been physically injured by another that ultimately altered the course of your future?  Have you ever thought you had a true friend and then learned that they continuously sabotaged you behind your back?  Have you ever had someone you loved say awful words to you that forever left you scarred?

Times of trouble will ultimately cross all of our paths at some point in life.  It’s inevitable, in the world we live in, to have people mess up regularly and inflict pain on us.  Whatever your story is…whatever pain you are feeling right now…I am asking you stop in your tracks.  Stop right here and think before you take that next step.  Think twice before you have that reaction that comes to all of us so naturally.  Yes, it sure is easier to be like Maleficent and get revenge.  And let’s not forget how dang good it will feel afterwards to get that eye for an eye.  But remember, in this moment, you are getting your real test.  So I am asking you to stop and think about a different path.  It’s a path that is far less traveled but one that I believe will ultimately lead us to a better life and a better version of ourselves.

Instead of taking the easy path, let’s choose that harder route.  Take all of that anger, pain and negative energy you feel in this moment and let’s instead figure how to use it to better our own life.  How can we use those negative thoughts and turn it into a positive outcome…for ourselves?  How do we, instead, create a better life and a better version of us?  How can we ultimately pass the real test?

If you or someone you love gets cheated on, don’t seek revenge.  Instead choose to figure out what you can learn from it and how you can make your life even better in that moment.  If you or someone you love was physically injured by another, don’t wish for karma on them.  Instead, think about how you can use the path you were given to help others who were dealt those same cards.  And finally, when you have had a friend or someone in your life hurt you so deeply, learn to let it go and move on by surrounding yourselves with those who truly love you.  Let’s pass this test together and focus on these positive outcomes instead of how we can get that revenge.

Because while revenge can feel so dang good in the moment, what ends up happening is that it ultimately leaves us feeling empty, and it surely can’t go and undue the past that hurt us so deeply.  Maleficent learned this the hard way.  She may have initially felt great after putting a spell on the king’s daughter, but what she didn’t know was that this same baby girl would be someone she would ultimately fall in love with just as if it were her own daughter.  And well, that revenge…it didn’t feel so good anymore.

Getting an eye for an eye…it can’t fix the hurt we feel inside.  And in the grand scheme of life, we need to remember what Gandhi once told us, “An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”  Because in that moment of rage and revenge, when we hurt someone back, we too become no better than the person who hurt us.  And at the end of the day, we all make mistakes.  So if we all choose revenge then it’s true, the whole world will be without sight and our real test…well frankly, we would have all failed it miserably.  

Xoxo

Marsha

*For those of you struggling with something in life or have a topic of interest that you want me to talk about in this blog, email me at BeYourBestSelfBlog@gmail.com.  Let’s work together to Be Our Best Selves!

Photo Credit:   Photo by Darius Krause from Pexels