It’s Your Choice

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My younger daughter is just around the corner from starting her teenage years.  And as she continues to grow up right before my very eyes, I have had to face a certain reality that I have been trying to avoid.  The reality that she is no longer a little girl anymore.  Baby dolls, barbies and kitchen sets have been replaced with TikTok videos, arts & crafts, movies, and time with friends.  

So the hour finally came where we had to do a serious overhaul of her toy closet.   It was time to get rid of the piles of stuff she was no longer playing with.   And I have to say, my baby girl did pretty well.  She went through each tote and drawer with a desire to clean up the mess and toss out all of the broken and useless toys. I guess she is officially ready to move on to her teenage years…even if I am not. 

But as she was cleaning out this one particular basket, she came across three mermaid swim toys from her past.  Two of these mermaid dolls were in flawless condition, almost as if they were never used. And the third mermaid looked pretty good too, expect for one minor difference…she was missing one of her arms.  Now most children would toss that broken mermaid in the trash and never think about it again…that is what most children would probably do…but not my daughter.

As she grabbed those three mermaids out of the basket, she looked at me with pure excitement and said, “Mom, I wouldn’t mind keeping all three, but no matter what, I can never get rid of this one.  This one is special, and she is the best one.”  And sure enough, she was pointing to the mermaid with the missing arm.  All I could do was sit back and smile…because I know what she knows, and I know that this one particular mermaid is very special…to us.

Now why would my daughter & I think this broken toy is so special?  What about this toy makes us both smile?  Why is this mermaid with the broken arm more important than the two mermaids in perfect condition?

It’s all about perception.  About what we choose to see in our life.  And my daughter is seeing something that the rest of you can’t see.  She is remembering something that only her and I can know.  It’s a fragment of time that we share together.  It was a moment when I knew my daughter was ready for a life lesson on how to make the choice to change her perspective when dealing with circumstances out of her control.

About 4 years ago, we took a family vacation to a beautiful beach with a relaxing pool.  My daughter had just gotten those three brand-new mermaid dolls to play with in the water.  She loved them!  They were such attractive colors, and each one had their own distinct pattern of pink, teal, and purple.  As I was talking to some friends in the pool, she was quietly playing with these dolls when, suddenly, she came up to me in tears.  One of them had already had its arm broken off (they were pretty cheap dolls, so I wasn’t surprised).  With tears in her eyes, my panic set in as I worried that she would miss out on a great day to be in the pool because of a “broken” doll.  So I knew I had to change her perspective.  

I looked into my daughter’s unhappy little eyes and told her that she shouldn’t be sad at all.  I explained to her that while this doll may “appear” to be broken…it actually wasn’t.  And then I asked her if she had ever heard of courageous young woman by the name of Bethany Hamilton.  I told her Bethany’s story about how she lost an arm to a shark attack but still continued on her path of being a professional surfer.  I then reminded my daughter that this mermaid was actually Bethany.  And she could still swim without her arm, so she was evenbetter than those other two mermaids.  She doesn’t need two arms. That is how awesome she is!

As my daughter swam away that day with a huge smile on her face and all three mermaids in hand, I knew that our “Bethany Mermaid” would always be an important toy in her collection.  It was the day my daughter got her first chance at choosing how to see the world around her.  She made the right choice that day.

If I have learned anything over the years, it’s that life is really just made up of a series of moments.  That is all we really get…small moments in time.  Some of these moments will be good.  Some of these moments will be great.  And some of these moments will be painful or even difficult. But no matter what these moments look like, no matter how these moments shake out, it’s up to us to work hard each and every day to make a conscious choice, a conscious effort to create that right perspective that we want for our life.  Only we have the power to choose if that glass will be half empty or half full with each moment in time we are given.

So how do you see your world today?  How are you choosing to view your life, right now, in this moment?  Are you making the choice each day to see all of the amazing things that surround you? Or do you just see all of the “bad” that exists?   Are you choosing to take difficult circumstances you have been tossed and look at it from a better angle?  Or are you choosing to only focus on the glass being half empty?

I would guess, at some point in time, we all have struggled with this.  Maybe some of you feel this is a constant battle.  If so, let’s try this together.  The next time you are living out a “moment” of your life and things don’t seem to go the way that you had wanted them to…or maybe it’s a time when you feel frustrated or sad with a situation…choose in that moment to take a timeout.  To pause and look around at the big picture of life.  To look at all of the moments of your life and not just this one.  What do you see?  Could things be worse?  Could things get better? Then try to name one or two positive outcomes that could come out of this moment.  Try to think of a different way to view the struggle you are dealing with. 

Because that is the thing about these series of moments.  We only get so many.  And don’t we want to live these moments out the best way we know how?  If so, then let’s choose happy.  Let’s choose a positive perspective.  Let’s choose the glass half full every chance we get.  And never forget, along the way, that only you have the power to do this.  

It’s truly your choice and only your choice to make…each and every day.  

And as my daughter and I finished cleaning out her toy closet, as we got rid of all of the fun things she will never play with again, I realized this moment in my life is actually harder than what I expected it to be.  My babies are all growing.  They aren’t little anymore.  But as we carefully placed “Bethany Mermaid” and her two friends in a basket to keep, it reminded me of the choice I get to make today, in this moment.  So I decided to tuck the memories of my daughter, as a little bitty child, close to my heart.  And then I glanced over at my bright-eyed girl, smiled, and grabbed her hand as we walked out of the door to get rid of the last of the boxes.  And in that moment, I decided to be excited about this journey we are on together.  To have a different perspective and to reflect upon the awesome adventures that await us.  That was my choice.  And for me, that was the choice I needed to make…especially today. 

Xoxo

Marsha

*For those of you struggling with something in life or have a topic of interest that you want me to talk about in this blog, email me at BeYourBestSelfBlog@gmail.com.  Let’s work together to Be Our Best Selves!