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On March 9, 1959, a very significant event occurred. It was an event that would forever alter the course of history as we knew it. And it all started with a woman named Ruth Handler. Ruth had a daughter named Barbara, and unlike other children of her time who would play with infant baby dolls, Ruth would notice her daughter creating paper dolls of older women and, instead, choosing to play with those.
What I didn’t mention was that Ruth and her husband Elliot also founded and owned, for over 14 years, a toy company that we all know too well, Mattel, Inc. And as Ruth noticed her daughter’s preference in toys, it gave her an idea. So, on March 9, 1959, Ruth introduced to the world a doll by the name of “Barbie Millicent Roberts” or better known as “Barbie”.
From day one, Barbie was known as the “perfect” model of a woman. A perfect body with smooth skin, small feet, straight teeth, an unblemished face, no wrinkles, absolutely no fat, a very well-proportioned figure, and long legs that seemed to stretch to the sky. Standing at an estimated 5ft 9in and weighing 110 pounds (if she were a real person), Barbie was every little girls dream of who we should be and what we should look like. She was every girls dream of what it meant to be considered “beautiful”. She was every girls dream come true…including mine.
As a little girl, I loved all kinds of toys but, most of all, I loved Barbie and all the cute accessories that went with her. The cars, the kitchen sets, the bedroom sets, the amazing clothes, the heels, and the list goes on and on. I loved that no matter what outfit I would put on Barbie, she always looked beautiful…all of the time. I couldn’t wait to grow up and be just like Barbie. Looking back, it is pretty easy to see that I was quite naïve.
But as I grew older, real life happened and my body changed just as fast as my growing family. With age (and gravity), skin started to fall and droop in places I least expected. Stretch marks stayed after my body fought through the battle of pregnancy and giving birth. Wrinkles, well those are inevitable. And expecting fat not to accumulate when I am a working and busy mom is just not realistic.
So, the unavoidable happened. I got to a point where I didn’t like the way I looked. I hated how my body changed. None of my clothes seemed to fit the same. I hated wearing swimsuits. I hated wearing shorts. Most people would describe me as a “skinny” person, so they questioned all of this because to them, I was fine. But it didn’t matter what they thought, it only mattered what I felt like when I looked in the mirror or when I stepped on the scale. And when I did that, I can promise you what I didn’t see…I didn’t see Barbie…or the perfect body.
I wonder, do you ever feel this way too? Do you look in the mirror and like what you see? Or do you look in the mirror and see all of the imperfections that exist? Is there some part (or maybe many parts) of your body that you want to change?
If this is you, then just know you are not alone. I am with you on this one. I have come to learn over the years that it doesn’t matter if you are overweight or underweight. It doesn’t matter if you have small feet or big feet. It doesn’t matter if you are tall or short, wrinkled or smoothed skin, straight or crooked teeth. It seems that all of us hate our bodies in one way or another.
So why is that? Why do we all focus around the imperfections on our body and, with that, we choose not to wear the shorts or the swimsuit? We, instead, choose to cover up those imperfections as much as we can.
For me, I believe it stems from one simple fact that the world has been telling us for over 60 years: A perfect body is important. A perfect body is what we need to feel happy and beautiful. But here is the craziest part about that expectation: A perfect body does not exist.
Simply put, Barbie is not real.
Expecting a perfect body, while knowing it truly doesn’t exist will never lead to happiness. It will, instead, ultimately leave us feeling empty and disappointed. We will just keep spinning and spinning around this same idea, but we sure won’t get anywhere (kind of like a hamster spinning in its wheel).
If you feel like you are stuck in this wheel too, then guess what…It’s Time to Jump. To jump off and to finally get this idea of a perfect body out of our minds.
Are you ready to jump with me? If you are ready, then here is what we are going to do…together. (I really need help on this one as I struggle with this daily).
When we look in the mirror and we see the scars, the stretch marks, the belly roll, the acne, the cellulite, the fat, the wrinkles, we are not going to be ashamed anymore. Instead, we are going to let this serve as a reminder to ourselves that we are living life to the fullest and growing older! Every single flaw has a story to tell. Our life and our journey in this world are something important to share…all of it! And all of this story created who we are today…we should never be ashamed of that. Instead, it is something to be proud of!
And this next step we take will be the most significant one. This cycle won’t end if we don’t all work together to change this next part. We need to stop hating on others. In its place, we need to start loving everybody, and we need to start loving every BODY. All of them…even our own. When you see a person who is being brave enough to wear the shorts or wear the swimsuit, even with their imperfections, remind them of how beautiful they look. Remind them and point out some of their best qualities. Make them feel stunning in that moment…that is how we change this path we are on. That is how we always remember that we are all pretty & beautiful…maybe not “Barbie Style”…but in our own unique way.
Over the years, I have to admit, Barbie has brought me so much joy, fun, and laughter as she was a significant part of my childhood. I truly am grateful for Ruth Handler who brought “Barbie Millicent Roberts” into this world. Those are memories I will carry with me forever. But there is one thing that neither Ruth or anyone else in this world could accomplish and that was to make Barbie real. She is not real. She never was. And Barbie doesn’t have a life story to share…but we do. It’s time to jump…to get this idea of a perfect body out of our minds and instead jump into the story of our battle scars. The story that makes us proud to be a part of. I hope you will choose to jump with me…shorts, swimsuits and all.
Xoxo
Marsha
*For those of you struggling with something in life or have a topic of interest that you want me to talk about in this blog, email me at BeYourBestSelfBlog@gmail.com. Let’s work together to Be Our Best Selves!
Photo Credit: Photo by cottonbro from Pexels
Resources:
“10 Stunning facts you never knew about the Barbie doll.” Decades. 03/07/2018, https://www.decades.com/lists/10-stunning-facts-you-never-knew-about-the-barbie-doll. Accessed 07/29/2021.
Holland, Brynn. “Barbie Through the Ages.” History. 03/08/2019, https://www.history.com/.amp/news/barbie-through-the-ages. Accessed 07/29/2021.