Are You Insane Too?

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Peanut.Butter.M&M’s.  My nemesis.  How can you love something so much and hate it so much all at the same time!?!  But I do have to give those wonderful pieces of candy some credit.  They made me realize something lately…

But let’s back up for a minute.  Let me tell you first about my chocolate and candy addiction.  It started long ago when I was a young girl.  I have always loved sweets.  Morning, noon, and night, there is never a bad time for a little snack…or in my case, a large snack.  

There was this one particular instance I will always remember…even to this day.  When I was close to 10 years old, we were driving back from celebrating Easter out of town with our extended family.  And of course, I awoke that morning to a basket full of candy.  And as the drive brought us closer and closer to home, that basket of junk kept getting lighter and lighter.  I ate so much of that candy because honestly, I just couldn’t stop myself.  When it comes to bad food, that “turn off” switch in my brain just doesn’t work.  It never tells me to stop like it will for other people. 

So the inevitable happened.  And sure enough, by the time we got to the house, I found myself with the worst stomach pain ever.  I ended up running to the bathroom and getting sick, literally throwing up from all of the candy!  And while I ‘kind of’ learned my lesson that day as I never threw up again from eating too much junk, this day marked the first sign that my body really does have a true sweets addiction.  And I have been fighting it ever since.

So this next sentence…I am sure you know it’s coming:  Peanut Butter M&M’s have now become my problem.  They are my frenemy.  And I want them all the time, every single day, for as long as I can.  They taste sooo good!

But the other day when I sat down with my bowl full of those M&Ms, I finally realized something.  I realized that every single day as I continue to eat more and more junk, I also start to hate myself and how I feel.  I feel so gross.  I feel upset that I can’t shake the cravings.  I feel sad that it has become a part of my day that I actually look forward to.  And mostly, I feel silly that I can’t shake this habit.  Because every morning, when I start my day, I promise myself that today will be different.  That I am going to choose today to just skip the junk.  BUT THEN…by evening, I find myself with a bowl full of Peanut Butter M&Ms again.   It’s become a cycle I just can’t shake.

Until now…

I woke up this past week finally realizing what I have been doing all this time.  And it was my brother’s words that kept echoing in my head.  One of his favorite lines is this: “Doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results is simply the definition of insanity.  It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.”

And his words couldn’t ring truer in my life right now.  I kept doing the same thing over and over again, and I kept expecting to feel better, to not crave sweets, and to be happier with my choices.  That really is just insane.  My Peanut Butter M&M’s have led me to insanity…literally!  And I knew it was time to make a different choice if I expected to have any sort of transformation in the future.

So now it’s your turn to think about the crutches in your life.  It’s time to think about those obstacles that are leading you to insanity every single day.   Do you wish you could lose weight?  Do you hope to drink less alcohol each week?  Are you longing for a better relationship with someone you love?  And as you look at your lifestyle, do you too wish you were a healthier eater?

If any of these obstacles continue to bother you day after day, yet you continue to notice that things are JustNot Changing in your life, well then, I hate to tell you…but you might be insane too…just like me!  And maybe it’s time for us both to choose to do something different about it.  Because otherwise it just leads to this insanity…and that, clearly, is no fun at all.

But guess what today is going to be?  Today is going to be the day.  Today is going to be your day.  It’s your time too….I am sure of it.  Today is the day for you to just say that enough is enough and free yourself already.  Free yourself of those crutches that are holding you back…whatever it might be in your life…just like I chose to do this past week.

And my day…well it was Monday.  Monday was truly my day!  It was the day I threw all the chocolate out, all the junk out, and of course, all of those delicious Peanut Butter M&Ms.  I tossed it all and made a decision to not live with this insanity anymore.  To free myself from this crutch.  To try to tame my cravings.  To do something different for once, so I can expect different results in the future.  And while I am only six days in, this freedom that I am experiencing, I just have to tell you…it tastes sooo good.  And what I never expected…what I didn’t realize…is that this choice, this change, it ended up tasting even sweeter than any of those Peanut Butter M&Ms could ever taste.

Xoxo

Marsha 

*For those of you struggling with something in life or have a topic of interest that you want me to talk about in this blog, email me at BeYourBestSelfBlog@gmail.com.  Let’s work together to Be Our Best Selves!