CLICK HERE & LISTEN ON APPLE ITUNES
*Sign up for Weekly Updates HERE!
When I was a little girl, my family played cards. From Euchre to Cribbage, Kings Corner to Rummy…we played them all! Of course, I was too little to join in, but my family wanted us young ones to learn early on. (I suspect that they couldn’t wait for us to get older and play with them.) And my grandfather, he was one of the best players around. Whenever I would sit on his lap and play his hand with him, he would always lean over and whisper, “These are the cards we are dealt. How are you going to choose to play them out?”
On September 10th, 2001, I was just starting my sophomore year of college when I got the call that we had lost my grandpa. He was no longer in this world, but those words, well, I knew that those would be words that would live on forever in my life.
The next morning, I arose to start my day before heading home to the funeral that weekend. There was something different in the air that morning. At first, I thought it was just me, as I was mourning the passing of my grandpa. But as I headed out the door, I noticed something wasn’t quite right. Students were gathered in small groups whispering. People seemed to feel down and dark on this particular day. What was going on?
And as I walked into my first class of the day, sure enough, the professor asked us if we had seen the news. Of course, I hadn’t, as I was too wrapped up in my own bubble of mourning.
And as he turned on the TV, I was shocked and horrified to see that terrorists attacked our country. It was a situation that I never thought could happen. A moment in time that I never felt could come to life and be a reality. And yet here it was, right in front of me. The World Trade Center in New York City was slowly crumbling to the ground, and all I could do was sit there and watch.
They say when someone goes through tragedy there are 5 stages of grief they will have to struggle through. And I can tell you, in that moment, our entire country…whether we were in California, Iowa, Connecticut, or New York…all felt these stages of grief. We all felt like a part of us was destroyed with those towers. We mourned together, as a country, for the lives and families that were forever altered that day. This was our country that these terrorists tried to destroy. It was our country, and we knew we needed to stand by it.
As the days moved on, coming out of one of the darkest times in our country’s history, I started to see something magnificent happen. Something so unbelievable that it is hard to describe. It’s like my grandfather was whispering up above, “These are the cards, what are you all going to do?”
And here is what I witnessed our country doing: I saw Patriotism. I felt Unity. I saw Resilience. I experienced Empathy. People were incredibly kind to each other. They came together, near and far, to lend a hand or to just gather with each other. We not only appreciated our country, but most importantly, we appreciate each other. We all stood together against the terrorists…united as one.
My grandfather would be proud with what our country did. We the People, took tragedy and turned it into triumph. Nothing would tear us apart. It made me proud to be an American.
And this week, as we come upon the 20-year anniversary of this tragic event, and as I look upon our world in 2021, the feeling that ran through me back in 2001 could not be more different than what I feel and what I see today.
Our country is, once again, hit with unexpected circumstances. Again, a situation that I never thought could happen is happening right in front of us. A moment in time that I never felt would be a reality is now here: The Covid-19 Pandemic.
And with this pandemic, here is what I see: Millions of lives have been lost. Millions of lives have been affected by lay-offs, financial struggles, and the list goes on. Whether we like it or not, these are the cards we were dealt. It doesn’t matter how we got to this point. We are here. We, unfortunately, are dealing with yet another tragedy. This will be another dark time in our country’s history.
And whether you believe in vaccines or you don’t. Whether you wear a mask or you chose not to. Whether you are terrified of getting the virus or you just don’t care as much. That is not the problem I see today. The problem I see is how we are reacting to it all. And so far, I have seen nothing even close to how we responded to the 9/11 attacks.
This pandemic…or really the actions surrounding it…is just another “terrorist”. It’s a terrorist trying to destroy us. It is a terrorist threating to separate us. And guess what…it’s winning. I have never lived in a time where I saw our country so divided.
People are not being Patriotic. People are not coming together to lend a hand or to show empathy. People are not being kind to or appreciative of each other. And we certainly are not standing together.
Instead, it has been replaced with arguing over who is right and who is wrong. It is being traded for feelings of hatred and disgust toward those who don’t see our point of view. It’s being substituted with actions and hurtful words that are not only dividing our friendships but are also dividing our families. This tragedy is tearing us apart…right now…in this moment…before our very eyes.
And it’s our own fault. This is how we, as Americans, are choosing to play the cards we were dealt. And for once in my life, I am not so proud to call myself an American.
How are we going to stop this spiral we are on? How do we get back to that same country that stood united against those 9/11 terrorist attacks? How do, We the People, turn tragedy into triumph?
I wish I had all the answers today. I wish I knew the exact right thing to say and the right thing to do. But that is the interesting part about being apart of a journey that has never been traveled, I don’t have all of the answers. Nobody does.
But even without all of the answers, there is something really important that I have realized through this journey. I have realized that while some situations are out of our control, the one thing we can always control is our response to these circumstances. So, I have decided to do better than I have over this past year. I have decided to take control. I am going to take control and play these cards that we have been dealt by going back to the basics. That has always served me well in the past. I am going to work hard to go back to the basic elements of human dignity which are: Empathy, Respect, Understanding, Forgiveness, Kindness, and Love.
If you are willing to make this choice with me. If you are willing to take control, then here is what we need to do. We need to be empathic to people’s point of view, as we have to realize we all didn’t travel the exact same journey through this pandemic. We need to be respectful of other people’s choices whether we agree with them or not as these are not our choices to make. We need to show understanding of other people’s fears, or lack thereof, surrounding the virus. Fear can be out of people’s control, and it isn’t our place to judge. We also need to learn to forgive when hurtful words are thrown our way because sometimes, when difficult situations are surrounding us, it is easy to say things we don’t mean. And most importantly, we need to show kindness and love, because when all else fails, kindness and love always seems to win in the end.
I really do wish my grandfather could be here today. I would love for him to see what is happening in the world right now. I have no doubt he would be shocked, but even though he isn’t here, I already know what he would say. He would lean over, whisper, and remind us that these are the cards we are dealt. For better or worse, this is what we got. Now the question remains: How are you going to choose to play them out?
Xoxo
Marsha
*For those of you struggling with something in life or have a topic of interest that you want me to talk about in this blog, email me at BeYourBestSelfBlog@gmail.com. Let’s work together to Be Our Best Selves!
Photo Credit: Photo by Oleg Magni from Pexels