CLICK HERE & LISTEN ON APPLE ITUNES
*Sign Up for Weekly Updates HERE!
Okay…Okay…I’ll go first. With all of my might, I am going to use that force within me and Own My Vulnerability…my Superpower. The Hero inside is reminding me that someone has to go first. So hold on tight…this may be a bumpy ride as I pull out my dusty cape and finally admit out loud my biggest weakness…my kryptonite. And by doing this, l can only hope to ignite that courage in you to do the same. Because I just know it will be life changing.
(See last week’s blog entitled “The Force Within(Part I)” for the backstory.)
As I reflect on my character, my past, the present, and all that I have learned along the way, it is easy to say that I have many weaknesses and flaws. That is part of being human, right? But when we talk about owning our superpower, we are talking about our biggest vulnerability that ends up becoming our kryptonite, our biggest weakness. It’s a flaw that has the power to take us down from the inside out. It’s the one thing we hate for people to know, but the one thing that we have to admit in order to learn, grow, and become better in our life.
And this big weakness of mine really hit me like a ton of bricks the other day. It was when I was talking to my daughter about a situation she had recently encountered. In that moment, as I listened to her tell her story, I was certain of only one thing: She was slowly coming into this flaw too. And I knew that while I had dealt with it my whole life and that it was time for me to grow and get better, I was positive it was necessary for me to also teach her along the way. Because don’t we all want more for our children than we have ourselves? And what better gift to give her than the knowledge to fight her kryptonite early on.
So let me tell you about my daughter. This fall, she had the opportunity to play 7th grade basketball at her newer, larger school. There were so many girls playing ball alongside of her that the school ended up having an A and B team. My daughter was the player that ended up bouncing between the two teams. However, playing on the A team was always intimating to her…mostly because those girls have been playing together for a really long time, and she was a newbie. So as she played one of her last games with them, she had a few minor errors (which may of the girls did) that left her feeling upset. She was so upset that she felt her 3 minor mistakes lost them the game, and she was sure others on the team felt it was her fault too. Now as a parent watching from the stands, it was crystal clear that this was not the case. Many of the girls on her team that night had errors, and they lost the game because frankly, in that moment, the other team was better. It was as simple as that.
But as I saw my daughter cry to me that night, I also saw my kryptonite staring me right in the face. So what is this vulnerability that I have had my whole life? It’s hard to admit, but I am using this force within me to just do it already. So here it goes: I have a really hard time forgiving myself. And I mean it’s really bad.
Let me expand on this…
When I make mistakes and mentally ‘fall flat on my face’, it eats me up inside to the point that it isn’t always easy to stand back up. Even when others in my life see these mistakes as pretty minor, to me it is like a big giant flag waving nonstop, back and forth in my mind. It’s what I saw in my daughter that night as she thought her tiny traveling basketball errors were such a big deal in the game.
And also, since we are going there, I am going to admit something else. When others talk about me or disapprove of me in any way, I take it personally and beat myself up about it. I have an innate desire to have everyone like me and approve of me…always. And when they don’t, I assume it is my fault or that I have done something wrong. And I have a hard time forgiving myself for that too.
Frankly, it is exhausting, and as I finally use this force within me to admit this out loud, I also now understand that it really is an unrealistic way to live. Actually, now that I have admitted this, I almost want to laugh at how impractical it has been for me to think I can avoid these situations in life. Because we all know that we are going to make mistakes, and we all know that not everybody is always going to like us. So what in the world have I been thinking all these years? And more importantly, how do I go about changing this…for myself and for my daughter?
Have any of you ever felt like I do? Are you so hard on yourself when you make mistakes or when someone in your life disproves of you? If so, we have more in common then we probably realize. And it’s finally time to change, learn, and get better at forgiving ourselves. It’s time to stop beating ourselves up already and face this weakness head on. And here is how we are going to do this together: We are going to always remember to keep CALM.
When we make mistakes or when others get upset with us and remind us of some of our flaws, we are going to tell ourselves over and over again the following mantra:
-We are Creatures made to be imperfect & not everybody will like us (perfection is unrealistic).
-It’s okay to Admit our mistakes (instead of hiding from them).
-Then let’s Learn and Look to rectify our errors.
-And lastly, let’s allow ourselves to Move on (instead of dwelling).
This won’t be easy, and we won’t be able to change overnight, but I am ready to take that first step towards a better life. And I am ready to teach my daughter too. So if you too are hard on yourself when mistakes are made or when others don’t approve of you, join me in staying CALM and let’s learn to finally let it go.
For the rest of you that can’t relate…then I am so happy for you that this is not your kryptonite. It isn’t always an easy one to deal with. But I suspect you have one of your own, so I want you to take a moment right now and think about your weakness. Then I want you to admit it out loud just like I did. I want to ignite that courage inside of you to just do it already. Use the force within and find that Hero inside of YOU and take your turn. Because I have to admit, it sure does feel good…putting it all out there. And when we get that hard part over…admitting our vulnerability… then this next part is going to be life changing. No longer will we allow our weakness to have the power to take us down…our kryptonate will have finally lost all control. And when it comes to my daughter…for her…I really want nothing more.
Xoxo
Marsha
Xoxo
Marsha
*For those of you struggling with something in life or have a topic of interest that you want me to talk about in this blog, email me at BeYourBestSelfBlog@gmail.com. Let’s work together to Be Our Best Selves!
Photo Credit Photo by Anna Tarazevich from Pexels