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This past summer, I had one of those awesome nights. It was a night where I got to spend it with some of my best girlfriends. And these girls, there are no words to describe them. They are my everything as far as friendships go! Most of us have known each other since kindergarten. How we have managed to stay friends through all of the obstacles thrown our way is beyond me, but we have none-the-less. And I couldn’t be more grateful for all of the memories we have shared over the years.
So as we were out this one particular night, we went to a restaurant and bar that had live music with a dance floor. And this music, well let’s just say, it was right up my alley! We are talking about 90’s alternative rock like Alice in Chains, Nirvana, AC/DC and all of those classics. I was ready to get out there and dance! But my best girls, they weren’t feeling it. Unfortunately, this music is not their ‘cup of tea’, so I sat out too and instead spent the time catching up with them about life. I didn’t want to be out dancing by myself…if you know what I mean.
But as we were talking and trying to solve the world’s problems that night, I kept glancing over at the dance floor. I kept glancing that way because of this woman…she was, literally, the only one out there dancing. She was surrounded by nothing but the breeze coming from her long sliver-blonde hair as she swayed back and forth. I kept glancing her way because I was so intrigued. Intrigued with the fact that she didn’t care what everyone must have been thinking. None of that stopped her from doing something she loved! And as the night wore on, the band didn’t stop playing and she didn’t stop dancing…all by herself. Not one person really ever came out to the dance floor that night. (Apparently, nobody was feeling the 90’s rock like I was).
And as I watched that woman dance, over and over again, to all of the songs they played, I had only one thought that crossed my mind. A thought that she knew something about life that I had not quite figured out yet. Something that I just didn’t “get” …until that night.
What this woman knew that I had not figured out yet was that she was brave enough to just not care. She.Didn’t.Care. She didn’t care about what people thought of her. She chose to do what she loved, and she kept dancing…as if, literally, nobody was watching. What a courageous and lively soul inside of this woman!
Could you have done that? Could you have been on that dance floor…all by yourself…all night long…without a care in the world? Without feeling at all embarrassed? As much as I love dancing, I know I would never do it. And it made me question…why can’t I do it? Why can’t many of us do what that woman did that night?
And it’s not just dancing. What about singing? (I love to sing but can hardly carry a tune.) And how about laughing? Do any of you have a quirky laugh that you don’t want others to hear? (I tend to snort in my giggles.) Or maybe it’s the way you run. Do you shuffle your feet in an awkward way that makes you not want to take a jog down the street where others can see you? There are so many things I could add to this list that so many people out there won’t do or are too embarrassed to do in front of others.
Why? Why do we do this? Why do we stop enjoying some of the fun pleasures in life and instead choose to hold back?
It’s because of one simple fact: We care too much. We all care way too much about what other people think. We care too much about other people’s opinions of us.
How awesome would it be if we could learn to stop doing that? To instead choose ourselves and our own happiness first. How neat would that be?!? How amazing would it be to live as courageously as the woman on the dance floor? And…how would this one choice, in turn, end up changing our life?
I believe it would change us all dramatically. I think we could achieve greater happiness. I am sure that we will have a whole heck of a lot more fun, and I have no doubt that we would feel more confident in our life. And who knows, maybe if we all stop caring about what other people think of us, those other people might just get bored and stop caring too. Maybe it will even inspire those people to start reflecting on their own life (instead of ours), and they too will choose their own happiness first.
This life you have been given…it’s yours to live. It’s yours to enjoy. It’s yours to love. It’s time to stop worrying about pleasing everyone else and to just start dancing already. It’s time be authentically YOU…whatever that may look like.
When I got home later that night from having an awesome time with my friends, I was still thinking about the woman on the dance floor. I was still reflecting on her courage and her ability to choose her happiness over what everyone else might have been thinking. So I decided that in order to be the best version of myself, it’s time for me to just dance already. Whether I dance like Carlton from “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”, or I laugh like Steve Urkel from “Family Matters”, or I run like Phoebe Buffay on “Friends” …I am going to choose to do all of those fun pleasures in life anyway.
Because instead of caring way too much about what everybody else thinks, I am going to start caring even more about my own happiness. That is how I am choosing…from here on out… to enjoy the life I have been given. And I have no doubt on our next night out, that my best girls will be cheering me on from the corner.
Xoxo
Marsha
*For those of you struggling with something in life or have a topic of interest that you want me to talk about in this blog, email me at BeYourBestSelfBlog@gmail.com. Let’s work together to Be Our Best Selves!
Photo Credit: Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels
You make ‘not caring’ sound so easy!! I would love to think that it is 🙂
Gail – I have always thought it was hard too. After writing this blog, I am going to try to make it easier in my life. Wish me luck!! Xoxo Marsha