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Are any of you parents out there? If you are, do any of you have a child that struggles in school for one reason or another? Maybe they struggle with reading, or sight words, or even behavior. And whenever you talk to your other parent friends or hear from your child’s teacher, you get the impression that YOUR child is the only one that isn’t “fitting in” like the rest of the children do at school?
If you are one of these parents, I suspect that you feel very lonely on this journey. How do I know this? My husband and I went through this when my son was in early elementary school. We felt so alone in our worry and also in our anxiety of what the future would hold for him. We often wondered if we did something wrong as a parent which caused him to struggle?
In our situation, our son was eventually diagnosed with dyslexia, a term that many don’t understand and probably won’t until you have a child going through it. It’s not a simple thing of mixing letters around…instead it so much more than that and a struggle my son will deal with for the rest of his life.
When he was younger, he use to feel stupid and wonder why things were just SO HARD for him or why he had to be pulled into a separate room where most of his peers didn’t have to go into. It’s a hard pill to swallow…seeing our son feel this way.
I knew I had to change my son’s perception. I had to explain to him all about the circles, squares, and triangles. You see, while the education system is a great thing in our country, it’s not perfect. Our education system is simply designed for one type of child, which I call the “Circle”. If you or your child are a “circle”, like I was when I was younger, then you see them breeze through school. This doesn’t mean they aren’t working hard, most circle’s do. It just means that they can easily read and grasp concepts and have no problem keeping their attention focused on the task at hand.
Not all children are circles. I explained to my son that he is a “square,” and while we are going to have to twist and bend that square to fit inside this “circle” of the school system, he is going to get through it.
And then to think even bigger than this, there are many other children out there that are not even circles or squares. Some are triangles or even trapezoids! The world is made up of and needs all of these shapes and sizes. It’s important because we are all good at different things.
So, when your child doesn’t fit in the school system quite right, it doesn’t mean they are stupid or that you did something wrong. It simply means that their strengths lie in a different area, and it’s our job to help them find their way.
If you take a look at history, you would see that without the other shapes, we could have missed out on some amazing movies that were produced, we may never have had a smartphone, or would have even missed some great athletes.
It’s time to change our perspective of struggling kids in school. While circles are so important to our world, we can’t forget about all of those other shapes & how important they are too. And if you are a parent who has only circle children, it’s still important to teach them about the other shapes and how those kids are different…in a good way.
As my son is starting to grow up, (he is starting high school next year) here is what I learned, and what I wish to share with you. It’s ok to not have a “circle” child…it’s really ok. And it’s ok to feel anxiety and frustration…that is just showing that you are a good parent trying your best to help them through. And your child, with your support, will be ok. In fact, they may even be better than ok!
Raising a dyslexic child has taught me so much! I have come to learn that not only am I honored to be chosen to be the one to raise him, but in so many ways, (as a circle myself) he has taught me much more in life than I could ever teach him. So, struggling parents out there, remember, you are not alone, and you’ve got this! Your child will really be ok.
Xoxo
Marsha
*For those of you struggling with something in life or have a topic of interest that you want me to talk about in this blog, email me at BeYourBestSelfBlog@gmail.com. Let’s work together to Be Our Best Selves!
Important reminders for everyone to reflect on. I can speak for my own house as well, out of the 4 not one is the same and we should not compare them to each other as they each will do their own great things, on their own timelines, in their own special way.
Megan – Thank you so much for following my blog and for reading this post! I could not agree more with your comment! Love it and thanks for sharing! Xoxo Marsha